committed - engaged - married
Improving your relationship to support the best in each person is the work of couples therapy with me. Unlocking the best in each person to support the overall relationship guides the work we do together. Human beings are hardwired to connect and we develop our patterns of interaction from a very early age.
Therapy with me is inspired by the IFS/IFIO models. Dick Schwartz of IFS (Internal Family Systems) and Toni Erbine-Blank of Intimacy From the Inside Out both collaborate on inner parts work, and inspire my work specifically to discover the parts of each of you that influence your relationship. Making it safe for all parts of each person to be seen and known and understood is essential to strengthening your relationship. Our work includes insights from Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT) developed by Stan Tatkin, which draws awareness to our attachment styles and how we learned to connect with others. In both methods I find ways of helping you sort out patterns and troubles, and find improvements that you can make in your relationship to unlock the potential you have for living in a fulfilling relationship that you can return to day after day.
"We learn the most about ourselves when we are in a relationship with others."
I fully believe that The Gottman Method focus on building the friendship in a couple, and increasing the connections and empathy between the individuals provides the foundation for a loving relationship. This helps insulate that relationship from the damage that inevitable conflict can inflict. As Drs. John and Julie Gottman point out, all relationships have challenges, in fact, "more than two-thirds of all problems a couple faces are perpetual problems" reoccurring over time.
So learning the skills that help you have a different kind of conversation about these existing differences in a new way, in a more open way, makes the relationship feel safer. We want the ongoing challenges of living a life together to feel less threatening. Being able to face the challenges together brings you into greater harmony and offers comfort in your lives. I work collaboratively with you to improve how you communicate with each other. And together, we make the work as rewarding as it can be; we're a team.